Very Punny!

When  chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are  the wurst .

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran .

I know a guy who’s  addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time .

How  does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night  to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .

This girl  said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met  herbivore .

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t  put it down .

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations .

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I  didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me .

How do  you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils ?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me !

Broken pencils are  pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist. 

What  do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a  Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have  been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at  a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes  give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off  !

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are  sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer !

Earthquake  in Washington obviously government’s fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

  1. le-musicien reblogged this from jimparedes
  2. tryppwylde reblogged this from jimparedes
  3. ejpadero reblogged this from jimparedes and added:
    Two monocles got together and made a spectacle of themselves.
  4. jcfourteen reblogged this from jimparedes
  5. pipaying reblogged this from jimparedes
  6. looooca reblogged this from jimparedes
  7. solsticechild reblogged this from jimparedes
  8. thediscobelle reblogged this from jimparedes
  9. faithfullylovinghim reblogged this from jimparedes
  10. baulstories reblogged this from jimparedes
  11. amusemyself reblogged this from jimparedes and added:
  12. jimparedes posted this
Short URL for this post:
blog comments powered by Disqus